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Crazy Time

There are only two projects on my needles: a tv knit (Drift’s Ridge) and a cabled knit (Offshore V-Neck).  All is as it should be.

A few weeks ago I was in the middle of this craziness:

ects/mamatronic/aidez”>Ravelry and Kollabora)

It’s the body of Aidez, knit in one piece.   I literally printed these cable charts out on separate pages, taped them together, then added individual cable stitch pattern instructions in the available spaces on the edges.  That way all of my stuff would be on one giant piece of paper that I carted around with me until the sweater became too massive to travel.  I’m not tech savvy, so it was a literal cut and paste session for me.  Look at it.  Does this not make you want to pull your hair and run off of a cliff?

Can you tell I’ve been going through a crazy time?  No, it has nothing to do with my cycle.  Well, actually it does.  I’ve been experimenting with my doctor and compound pharmacist on a hormonal/ thyroid treatment plan that will help me with all of the crummy symptoms I’ve been dealing with for a while. A while means the last decade.

But I hadn’t been on my current medications long enough to feel an energy boost when my grandmother went into the hospital and I was needed, by she and my grandfather, in a more intense way than normal.  To the usual exhaustion and migraines was added sleep deprivation, worrying for my grandmother, and losing my voice trying to explain things to my grandfather all day, every day.  It was an awful week after a rough month.  That’s why I have yet to answer comments or emails.  For the first time since I married, I didn’t even send Christmas cards, and I don’t feel bad about it.

I am cutting myself some major slack because this is a really difficult time (one my mother would have been better suited to handle) and, with my health issues, I’m just doing good to take care of the things that really matter.  If I can be there for the people who need me, I’m fine with  letting everything else pile up.

Oh and it has piled up: email, laundry, Christmas shopping, FOs that need blocking, and housework.   I’ve even skipped some church services to sleep and am ordering gumbo for Christmas dinner.  

So if I seem non-responsive on Ravelry or other forms of social media, just know that I’ll get to it as soon as I can.  I enjoy the rapport of blog comments, but I like to consider and think before I respond.  I realize that my responses are usually brilliant remarks like, “Thanks so much!” but still… I mean it when I write it.  So I will get to it.

If I don’t get back on here before Christmas, I hope every one of you have a beautiful Christmas with your family.

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  1. It is often a necessity to put our 'on-line' relationships on hold in order to focus on our 'in-person' lives, especially when there are health issues involved, whether they are our own or others, or both. I've had to do that a few times and I've found that my community doesn't mind and is always so supportive. You take care of you first so you can better take care of the other things in life. I totally relate to you cut and paste pattern, I've done the same thing many times. Usually there are some sticky notes involved as well that will eventually fall off and cause me major headaches. I'm sure it'll be worth it in the long run. I can't wait to see it.
    She Knits in Pearls

  2. Hey Michelle, sorry to hear you're going through a rough time. I hope it all gets resolved soon and you have a Merry Christmas in spite of it all. Lots of (virtual) hugs being sent all the way from Australia to you and yours. Julieanne xx

  3. I feel you on the crazy time! My thoughts are with you and your family during the busy holiday season. Be kind to yourself, and know that we'll all be right here when you return! Xoxo!

  4. Sounds like you've had a rough time of it. Hope you get some rest over the holidays to recover and spend time with the family. Wishing you a very merry Christmas and a happy new year!

  5. That is so kind of you to take care of your grandparents when they need you most. They are lucky to have you. I often wonder what happens to all those seniors who have no one advocating for them. I hope you feel better soon and things get better for all concerned.

  6. It seems like you have a lot on your plate right now, and it is vert understandable to put your loved ones first at this time. I hope your grandmother will feel better soon and your health will improve as well. Those are the things to focus on, and blocking some FOs, well that can still happen whenever! Happy holidays, I hope they'll bring you some relaxtion!

  7. I also wish you a wonderful Christmas. It's sad to hear how you're feeling right now but I'm glad you realized it and decided to cut some slack on yourself. If we are too blind to see this we pay for it afterwards.

    I really hope your medication starts working soon but in some cases it just needs some time to balance everything, and this doesn't seem to be an easy time for you, so you'll probably start seeing some results when you have the time to slow down. I hope your grandmother starts to feel better too. These days can be already exhausting without extra worries.

    Take care, Michelle, rest all you can, and take the time to heal. We'll be here for you when you are ready to come back.

  8. Oh, thanks for the encouragement! I am getting much better at recognizing when I'm trying to tackle too much. I never approach my blog or raillery groups as a chore, it is total pleasure. That's probably why I've been so spotty with it this year.
    DO you ever save your ratty pattern notes. Once in a while they look so pathetic that I feel I must keep it as some kind of relic.

  9. Thank you, Julieanne. I really appreciate that. I think the immediate crisis is over and any to come will work out too.

  10. Thanks, Katie. I have relished the thought of just sitting around and catching up online. I have kind of declared today and tomorrow pajama days. you can guess how they'll be spent.

  11. Thanks, Brandy. I think my doctor is on to something with the thyroid meds and have hope that the exhaustion will improve. As for my skin issues, they are slowly being resolved with a tiny amount of hormone therapy. It's not life threatening, but still very encouraging to see it improving.

  12. It was pretty difficult couple of weeks, there. But things are improving and we're all getting healthier in our own ways. This is just one of those seasons of life that are physically and mentally challenging. I have to say I feel very thankful that I've been prepared for how to handle this mentally. The mindset of watching your loved ones near death is something I didn't have a couple of years ago. I just wasn't ready. My time spent studying my Bible and meeting with some other ladies to talk about what we're reading has made a big difference in my confidence about what is ahead. Thanks for your thoughtfulness.

  13. Thank you, Elena! I'm definitely going to do my best to rest up. I know you can relate about hard to diagnose, chronic illnesses. I feel like you have handled a more serious problem, however. But any illness compounded with caregiving is difficult.
    I know that I have what it takes to get through this time. As trite as it may sound to some, the verse: "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" Philippians 4:13 plays through my mind a lot. I'm not saying it like a mantra. I really, finally believe it. I haven't always, though. So I am grateful I can have confidence in that.

  14. Thank you, Teresa! It has been good so far and I'm sure the New Year will have lots of good things in store, too. As I commented a moment ago, today is lazy, pajama, nothing but knit day. How can I not feel better? I hope your Christmas was wonderful too.

  15. Oh thanks, Jennifer! I can't say how much reading these little comments here and there over the last couple of days has encouraged me. I truly treasure your online friendship!

  16. I'm so sorry you've been having a rough time. Make sure to take care of yourself! Sending you love and lots of good thoughts – to you, and your whole family. If I've learned anything about the online community we're a part of, it's that it's such a supportive group that is truly understanding when we disappear for a little while, or seem a little distant. Hoping the New Year brings peace and healing.

  17. Thank you for this, Jennifer. I am expecting those things from this year. And that's kind of new for me. I have often found myself on edge, waiting for the other shoe to drop. So, it's really nice to have this feeling. 🙂

  18. Oh no! I hope you are feeling better or things slow down very soon. Will definitely keep you in my prayers. Thanks for sharing your beautiful WIPs…and I'm not tech savvy when it comes to knitting patterns either, I'm a literal cut and paste kind of girl 🙂

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