I was reminded again today how good it feels to use what I have to express myself. I have always had a really clear vision of the things I wanted to do and make in my mind. Really clear. But it used to frustrate me to not have the means to express it exactly as I saw it could be.
(my mom had a Brownie, 365 day 57 photo)
This was true of photography, school projects, experiences I longed to have, home decor, education I desired, and even how I set up my garden. I’m sure everyone meets up with this kind of frustration, but there are seasons in life where I hit this wall over and over again. When I was young I would commiserate with my brother on how bad it stinks to have great taste and be broke.
Well, it still stinks, though I’m not “broke.” However as I’m developing the gift of being able to wait patiently to do something until it can be done right (like home renovations,) I still have to make a lot of things work with what I have. If I create what I can with less or different materials, I tend to learn quite a bit along the way. This is how I taught myself Pilates, yoga, editing blog code, knitting, etc. It’s also challenging to be creative under the rule of a nasty budget, slimming down expectations with costs. It seems wise to me, and definitely therapeutic, to say, “No” to myself. It’s character building… blah… blah… blah… I’m obviously giving myself a pep talk online here.
Honestly, I was feeling a little bummed out about the waiting on a few things.
Then I looked at the top photo.
When I look at it, I don’t think, “Ahh, if only I had that land camera to capture the moment so beautifully in an instant.” I think, “Even though I only had my camera and free online processing to make this happen, I worked with it, spent a little more time on it, and I’m satisfied. It’s just like I envisioned it.” It actually took more care and thought than if state of the art equipment was at my fingertips. And I like it better. Pep talk done, I feel better.