Procrastinator’s Greatest Hits

Remember Theo Huxtable’s sleeve?  The long one on the shirt Denise sewed for him that didn’t in any way match the other sleeve?  Well, my Featherweight has Theo sleeves.  They just seem to go on and on and on.

(more on ravelry, kollabora, and flickr)

I’ve actually finished them and even though the gauge is consistent with what works perfectly for the top of the sweater, these sleeves seem to shrivel up and cling to themselves.  I blocked one sleeve out to a nice normal gauge that matches the body, then I slid my arms into it and it grabbed me like a vice, stretching out in a static cling implosion.

I continue on with the 3.5″ inches of stockinette for the collar/ front bands.  I’m trying not to think about how I know I’ll have to undo each sleeve halfway and eliminate the extra decreases I added because I was extending them to full length.  I try to focus and finish, but I find my mind wandering.  Want to wander to nowhere meaningful with me?

So many fascinating things have happened while these sleeves continue to grow (not really).  I can at least read while knitting this, so I finished reading Red Mars.  I wanted a break before the next book in the series, so I did something dumb. I bought a certain “sci-fi” book many knitters are raving about set in the  Highlands.  I hated it.  Really hated it.  I had never bought a trashy romance novel in my whole life.  Now my record is spoiled.  I kept waiting for whatever people were claiming was awesome to happen.  It never did.  Please don’t be upset with me, fellow knitters, all of the color ways based on the book series are incredibly beautiful.  In fact, that’s probably why I got it.

I did laugh out loud while reading it several times.  That’s something that almost never happens, but it wasn’t supposed to be funny.  I couldn’t stop picturing Mick Hucknall as the lead, which completely negates the mood the author was trying for.  It was all the “fiery red hair” comments, I guess. Have you seen Mick Hucknall lately?

So I moved onto the Mistborn series.  The first book, The Final Empire, was pretty good.  I haven’t read this type of book in a long time.  I can’t tell if this is meant for young adults or regular adults or what.  It pretty much jumps right into action and there aren’t long, dry descriptions of landscape or weighty monologues.  But, it’s not childish, unless you call a book without mature content and a few characters that aren’t twisted childish.  I don’t, so maybe I’ve lost my modern, literary compass.  So what if it uses the word “chuckled” too much?  Am I so jaded by the Game of Thrones type story that I can no longer recognize a novel as good fantasy if it doesn’t leave me feeling a little sick?

Anyway, I liked the world the story takes place in and the abilities of the main characters.  It felt like reading a real story about something.  Can you tell this project is dragging out?

There’s also a new Doctor, right?  I’ve watched every episode with him while still knitting on this sweater.   I like Clara so much more than Amy.  Boy, I sound catty with this post.  It must be that I’m grouchy over my never-ending cardigan.  I started The Returned on Netflix, too.  Honestly, it’s a downer and it’s only a few episodes long, so I’m sure I’ll finish it before finishing the sweater.

Hmmmm, what else can I escape into every two or three rows, besides Pinterest and camper renovation websites?  There’s all of the youtube videos my kids and I send to each other.  I find myself clicking on them here and there, as sort of a time waster’s greatest hits: old man barking, not to be racist or anything, people falling at Disney, I like Turtles, and scarecrow dougie, to name a few.  (My daughter sent me that last one when I happened to be at the hospital, listening to someone tell me some very serious information about her husband.  As soon as she walked away, I looked down and saw this on my phone and could not stop laughing.  People around me thought I was a horrible person.  To be fair, I was there for my own relative and was under great stress, but still.)

Okay, I’ve gotta get back to that collar.

(via Pinterest)