I kept waiting and collecting images of my children, thinking I’d write some meaningful post about them, but I feel too scattered to do them justice. All I have are random thoughts that flash through my mind during the day, like:
I can’t lift either of them anymore.
Do they remember picking flowers or wielding swords on our walks?
Do they remember what it was like to be at home together all day, playing pretend, doing household chores extra slow so the littlest could help?
My husband and I each have one small box of childhood drawings, toys, or awards. My children have three big, rubbermaid tubs worth of drawings, crafts, and baby clothes (not including the old toys we keep in the toy museum we sometimes call a garage.)
When they hear The Beatles, will they think of me the way Herb Alpert makes me think of my mother?
Why have I not put our home movies onto disc yet?
I might never play with Star Wars action figures again.
Did they get their sarcasm from me?
His hair still smells salty like the beach.
Do they remember playing like they had super powers all the time-
“My super power is to shoot fire from my eyes.”
“Well, my power is to freeze fire.”
“Mine power is to have every power.”
“Then mine is to be immune to all super powers.”
“My power is to lay down and be quiet.”
(Guess which one was mine.)
Once in a while, she will be so busy that I may not hug her, or even touch her all day.
I feel sentimental about every trace of them, lately. So if you see me lovingly examining grass from soccer cleats on the floorboard of my car, you will understand. Everything.
Will we take another big family vacation together in the next few years?
Yesterday I caught them jumping on the trampoline together. I remember the Christmas morning 8 years ago when we set it up in the backyard, then sent them out “to get something.” When they saw it they froze, then grabbed each other, screaming. They always shared in each other’s happiness.
Nothing pleases me more than when I say or do something that makes an unexpected smile creep across one of their faces… well, nothing except when one of them makes the other smile that way.